How To Deal With Sibling Rivalry

While many children are lucky enough to become best friends with their siblings, it is not uncommon for brothers and sisters to quarrel. It’s also very uncommon for them to alternate between loving and hating each other. 

Sibling rivalry frequently begins before the second child’s birth and continues as the children grow and compete for everything from toys to parents’ attention. As children progress through their developmental phases, their changing demands can considerably impact how they interact with one another.

As a parent, you will feel tired hearing them quarreling all day long; at some point, it will become frustrating for you and everyone living in the same house. The atmosphere will feel very dense. You will sometimes want to interfere to stop this, but you may think twice as you don’t know the correct way of doing so. You may take some important steps to bring peace to your house, and in this article, we will go through all of these…

Why They Fight

Siblings might fight for a variety of reasons. Most brothers and sisters experience jealousy or competitiveness to some degree, leading to disputes and fighting. But other variables also could impact how often youngsters fight and how serious the fighting develops. These are some of them:

Changes In Needs

Just as adults’ needs change through the years, they change even more than adults. They will question their identities at some point, influencing how they associate with other family members. 

As they grow, toddlers tend to be protective of their belongings and parents. For example, the firstborn in the family may react aggressively to their younger siblings if they approach their toys or if the parents pay too much attention to them.

Because school-aged children frequently have a strong sense of justice and equality, they may be perplexed why siblings of various ages are treated differently or feel that one child is given preferential treatment. On the other hand, teenagers are developing a feeling of uniqueness and independence and may hate being forced to help with home chores, care for younger siblings, or simply spend time together. All of these distinctions might have an impact on how children fight.

Temperaments

As humans, we all have different moods and personality traits, and they are normally responsible for how we react to situations. Some children are more clingy, while others are more independent of their parents.

Special Needs

Due to sickness or learning and emotional challenges, a child’s exceptional needs may necessitate additional parental time. Other children may notice the imbalance and act out to gain attention or to protect themselves from what is happening to the other child.

Models 

Parents should keep in mind that they are what their children look up to. They should be the first to set a good example to grow. The way parents deal with challenges and arguments provides a good model for their children. If you and your spouse deal through issues in a courteous, constructive, and non-aggressive manner, your children are more likely to utilize the same strategies when they have conflicts with one another. When your children witness you yell, slam doors, and fight loudly when you’re upset, they’re prone to pick up on those harmful behaviors.

What To Do When They Fight

At first, stay out of any conflict, try not to get involved, step in if you feel like they could hurt themselves. If you interfere too often, they may feel like you are on one’s side. On the other side, it will help the kids deal with their problems and even find solutions, which will solve the ‘fighting’ problem in general.

You should always teach your kids how to respond and put their feelings into words without hurting others or being physical. Or else, you may want to put them in separate rooms until they are calm; you do not need to explain, just separate them.

Do not understand the situation or look for someone to blame; it may create even more fights.

Help Kids Get Along

Establish ground guidelines for what is and is not acceptable conduct. Tell the youngsters that they must keep their hands to themselves and that there will be no swearing, naming, shouting, or slamming doors. Solicit their opinions on the regulations, as well as the penalties for breaking them. This teaches children that they are solely accountable for their behavior, regardless of the context or how agitated they are, and discourages any efforts to bargain about who was “right” or “wrong.”

 Don’t let your children convince you that everything must always be “fair” and “equal”; occasionally, one child needs more than the other.

 Give your children one-on-one attention that is focused on their interests and needs.

If you feel too much fighting that you can’t handle, you may want to contact a professional; your child may be facing some emotional or psychological challenges where your help won’t be enough. Let us know in the comments if you are going through this situation at home…