Like any relationship, without open and honest communication, a relationship can’t thrive, and this is why you should communicate with your parents. Most of us have a conflictual relationship with our parents, especially if you are a person of color, the child of an immigrant, and/or queer. Some of us, like me, are the combination of all three, and when I tell you my parents disowned me when I came out, they disowned me, and to this day, we still don’t have an open line of communication.
Having an open and honest communication with your parents can prevent any future issue and might help the milk to not boil over whenever you have a heated discussion. So, without further ado, let’s learn some of the topics you should be open and honest about with your parents.
This is a heated topic; let’s make one thing clear, if you feel that you are going to be ostracized and disowned by your family when you come out, then don’t do it immediately. Only come out when you have a fixed roof under your head that is not your parents’ place. Unless you want to be like me, I came out to my parents when I turned 17, and the day after my birthday, my parents had packed my bags and told me they no longer had a son and that I was not welcome in their home.
I was left on the street with 20 dollars in my name and nowhere to go. I’m very thankful to my best friend and their family, who took me in and let me stay with them until I finished high school. After that, I built myself up, and I still don’t have a relationship with my birth parents, but that’s what it is.
But going back to the plot, if your parents are open and you know they won’t throw you out when you come out, then talk to them about their sexuality, they might be the support system that you need, but that not all of us had the pleasure of having. They might help you with discovering your sexuality and gender identity. However, please don’t take my journey as the end all be all of all coming out stories; most families are very welcoming and accept their children for who they are.
So, take your situation into consideration before you come out; if you have conservative and homophobic parents, don’t come out when you are in high school because you might have to spend a night on a bench because you have nowhere to go and no phone to call anyone. Don’t make the dumb mistake that I made but also trust your parents if they seem open about the possibility of you being queer or trans.
If you are struggling with anxiety, depression, or suicidal thought, talk to someone because you matter and are beautiful and loved. If no one told you this, let me say this, you are beautiful, and you matter, and whatever you are struggling with, it gets better. Take it from someone who tried to end it all twice; it does get better even if everything seems terrible right now. If you feel suicidal or are queer and struggling with your sexuality, call the Trevor Project, and there will be someone who will talk to you.
Call (866) 488 7386 if you are struggling and think about ending it all. If you feel under the weather and are struggling with your mental health, then talk to your parents about it; they will do their best to help you out with this predicament. Unless you have toxic comments, your parents will help you out during this challenging time of your life.
You should treat your teenagers as adults and build a friendly rapport with them, as this will improve communication and make them trust you more, which will make them more open to speaking about how they are feeling and their troubles. Remember, it is a two-way street, and you need to be open with your kids for them to be open with you. Show them that you trust them and show them that you love them no matter what; fear is the number one reason why most teenagers are afraid to speak to their parents.
Sound off in the comments section below and tell us what you want to read next!