Top 6 Tips To Ameliorate Your Relationship With Your Teens
Adolescence rhymes with change. For our teenagers, the “tsunami” of hormones triggers physical transformations and all the associated emotional upheavals and numerous changes in the brain. It’s not surprising that you no longer recognize your child after this tidal wave!
Indeed, when our children mutate into teenagers, ready to roar at the slightest remark, communication is not an easy exercise. Your parental mission becomes more complicated. So, without further ado, let’s dive into this blog and learn some of our tips to ameliorate your relationship with your teens.
1. Respect your teen’s privacy and give them space
Your adolescent needs a protective space where they can be alone. Teens are building their shells, and because of this, they may find you intrusive. Don’t get defensive and learn to knock on their bedroom door before entering. Also, don’t go through their belongings or ask their friends if they smoke or are in a relationship. Don’t make the mistake of not sharing their secrets.
Accept the fact that you can no longer satisfy all of his desires. Today, overprotective parents deprive teenagers of their freedom and do not prepare them properly for life’s hazards. They need to look outside the family for what makes them happy. By respecting their privacy, teens become more open to discussing important issues with their parents, and this will greatly enhance the relationship.
2. Be discreet and available at the same time
Remember to show interest in your child, what they are doing, what they like, and what they plan to do in the future, with the objective of forging a confident adult but also inviting them to express themselves spontaneously. Although they may sometimes grumble when you ask them questions, teenagers appreciate the fact that you care about them.
Be open, as it is our duty to enter their world to facilitate communication. Think ahead about the topics they would like to discuss with you that they may not be comfortable bringing up: sexuality, alcohol or drug use, further education, etc. I also suggest that you familiarize yourself with topics that they are passionate about.
Don’t be judgmental (at the risk of cutting off communication). Contrary to appearances, teens need to feel their parents’ presence and attention. I suggest that you use their words when discussing their difficulties, as this sends a signal that you understand them. A good parent must be discreet and available at the same time, and they must be present.
3. Paying attention when the adolescent chooses
It is better for your teen to come to you than the other way around (at the risk that they feel questioned by the FBI and respond in a condescending manner). If they are inclined to talk, take advantage of this and, if possible, stop to listen without interrupting.
Active listening will help your child feel valued and that you are taking them seriously. Even if you don’t agree, listening to your teen may give you a better understanding of the world in their own way, enriching your understanding and developing your ability to empathize (even if you’re not interested in what they are telling you sometimes). Let’s hear it!
4. Create exchanges around everyday tasks and value positive behaviors
Did you know that teens are more likely to open up to their parents when they do chores together? Cooking, for example, or during a car ride. This is like saying that they are more willing to talk when they are completely comfortable being side by side and not face to face. This finding makes me bounce back to the importance of empowering them with daily tasks that they won’t have to learn when they are adults.
Also, remember to value any positive behavior and initiative on their part. Express your appreciation for your teen’s attitude in making your life easier. Hearing you express your gratitude helps build self-esteem and independence. In short: give your teenager responsibility as he/she prepares to build their life. Children don’t belong to us, and our mission is to help them build their lives so they can succeed without us.
5. Suggesting activities together
Adolescents need to distance themselves from their parents and often prefer to confide in their friends. Surprisingly, they are also afraid of being abandoned. This allows you to create opportunities for exchanges around pleasant moments. Suggest, for example, that you go out for a game of tennis or any other sport that you are used to sharing together with pleasure.
Organizing outings or fun activities is essential to your teen’s well-being and is very valuable. Go shopping, see the latest action movie, or have lunch at your favorite pizza place? Any source of fun will help you bond and connect with your teen in a fun and relaxed atmosphere. Moreover, if we focus on meals, a source of communication, the following advice is important to follow if you want to maintain an exchange with your adolescent.
6. Have meals together
Establish family rituals- For example: have family gatherings for birthdays, tell each other the best and worst part of the day at dinner, have a pancake party on Sunday night… Each family invents its own traditions. Family meals are a wonderful opportunity to share freely with our teens and reinforce the message that family is important. These sharing moments also allow us to confront points of view, start debates, provoke laughter and, of course, create beautiful memories for later.
By sharing moments, we share values, emotions, and ideas. By exchanging, the teenager feels that their parents are interested in what they do; they feel that they exist and are important. It is also an opportunity to learn that we can disagree without losing our appreciation for each other. Research shows that if you have at least one family meal a day, your teenager may avoid experimenting with risky behaviors.
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